If you want to come out of this experience on solid ground, there are a number of things you should be taking into consideration right off the bat. Let’s take a look at 4 of the most common mistakes people make when they divorce in NJ, so that you can know what not to do in your own divorce.
Making Decisions
without Consulting an Expert
Perhaps you and your soon-to-be ex are on the same page. If
you’re both amicable, it can be tempting to skip hiring a professional and just
sit down and settle things on your own. The problem is, there are a lot of
nuances and complexities when it comes to divorce in NJ – particularly in terms
of finances. What may seem like a perfectly fair agreement may actually leave
one party with much less than they bargained for once Uncle Sam takes his cut
of things. Your best bet is to always seek the guidance of a professional, like
an experienced divorce mediator, who knows the laws and can help you both reach
a settlement that is equitable.
Failing to Consider
the Emotional Aspect
When people think of divorce, they often only account for
the legal and financial aspects, forgetting about how the experience will take
a toll on them emotionally. The fact is, regardless of whether you wanted the
divorce or not, ending a marriage is never easy. It often brings with it a
whirlwind of emotions – many of which can strike quite unexpectedly. These emotions
can cloud your judgment at a time when you’ll be making decisions that will
affect your future. If you’re planning a divorce in NJ, working with a divorce
coach can help you face your emotions and overcome them once and for all so
that you’ll be able to make the best decisions for you and your children.
Not Picking Your
Battles
Going through a divorce can feel like a war. It’s you
against your former spouse, and you want to make sure you get everything that
you’re rightfully entitled to. Unfortunately, when you go into the process with
this type of attitude, you can become so embroiled with the little details that
you lose sight of the big picture. Before you know it, you’ve wasted a year of
your life and spent thousands upon thousands of dollars fighting over every
nook and cranny of your former marriage. Chances are, you’ll still end up with
the same settlement as you would have if you’d agreed to disagree and made some
compromises through mediation. Don’t waste valuable time and money. Pick your
battles and focus on what’s most important.
Putting Your Kids in
the Middle
Filing
for divorce in NJ involves detailed parenting plans that can make sharing
custody with your former spouse easy for you and healthy for your kids. The
problem comes into play when one or both parents decide to encourage their
children to take sides, bad mouthing each other and placing young, innocent
bystanders right in the middle of an ugly battle. The result? Hurt, confusion,
bitterness, anger and frustration – not for you, but for your kids. Over time,
this may even destroy your relationship with your children. As tempting as it
may be, make a conscious effort to never involve your children in your divorce.
Instead, allow them to continue to give and receive love between both parents.
This will provide a foundation upon which they will flourish.
Divorce is never easy. By avoiding these four critical
mistakes, you’ll have a much better chance of getting through the process as
quickly as possible, and with your finances, emotions and relationship with
your children still very much intact.