A joint vacation can make it easier to share experiences with your children. Whether your child is experiencing their first time at the ocean or visit to Disney World, you can rest assured that both parents are there for that pivotal childhood memory. Secondly, a shared vacated with split costs and responsibilities can help everyone have a more relaxing time on a trip. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, your children can benefit from seeing their parents getting along amicably. This can benefit a child’s emotional development to see their parents engaging in a healthy relationship.
Having stated some of the benefits of vacationing with your ex-partner, take the time to consider if this is the right step for your family. If you are on good terms with your ex, consider bringing the idea up. If the separation has been too recent or either of you are still emotionally wrapped up in the relationship, wait for the dust of your separation to settle. If you can’t handle a birthday party together, you won’t be able to make it through a vacation.
The best way to make this an exciting and positive experience is to take the time to prepare your child for this event. Be open with your children, especially younger children who may have a harder time grasping this idea, that this trip doesn’t signal the beginning of a reconciliation. Be clear, and state that while you are not getting back together, you are spending time together as a family. There is still a lot of love and respect to share.
Make Sure You, Your Ex, and any New Significant Others are Comfortable
Have an honest discussion with your ex-partner to ensure that both parents, as well as new spouses, are all on the same page when it comes to shared responsibilities, expectations, quality time with your children, and especially, finances. One of the top reasons couples divorce is due to incompatibility when it comes to handling finances. Determine who pays what before you go since money can still be a source of contention for divorced couples.
Answer honestly: can you handle this emotionally? If there are any lingering feelings of resentment or bitterness, chances are that those feelings won’t magically disappear. Will you children benefit from a mutual trip if the feel the tenseness of your relationship with your ex? Leave the emotional baggage at home.
Be patient when planning a joint trip with your ex. This idea can work for some couples, but may not for others. Make the decision that best suits your family. Perhaps discussing it with your ex-partner will, at the very least, open up new lines of communication, which may be a very welcome change.
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