Recognizing a Toxic Ex-Spouse
by
Theresa Ann Lyons on Jun. 21, 2018
Summary: A high-conflict divorce often results in a bitter ending, and a toxic ex-spouse can continue to make life miserable for you, even though your marriage is over. A toxic ex-spouse may try to punish you out of spite, making it difficult or impossible to move on with your life.
A high-conflict divorce often results in a bitter ending, and a toxic ex-spouse can continue to make life miserable for you, even though your marriage is over. A toxic ex-spouse may try to punish you out of spite, making it difficult or impossible to move on with your life. The following are certain behaviors to watch out for with a toxic ex-spouse.
Using the Children Against You
Unfortunately, this kind of toxic personality has no qualms about dragging the children into the middle of their problems with you. They will try to obtain information from the children about you and your new life and they may try to turn your children against you by bad mouthing you. A truly toxic ex-spouse may be so focused on punishing you that they will not hesitate to abandon the children to do so. The fact that the children bear the brunt of their behavior does not matter to them.
Trying to Control You
Many ex-spouses have trouble letting go of the marriage, even if they initiated the divorce. They cannot stand the thought that you will be building a new life without them. They may pry into your life with constant questions about your activities and who you spend your time with. Attempts to maintain control over you may result in behaviors such as:
- Sabotaging new relationships
- Putting you down in front of the children, or behind your back when you are not present
- Criticizing your decisions regarding the children
Blaming You for Everything
A toxic ex-spouse will remind you constantly that the failure of the marriage was your fault. Anything that goes wrong with the children, as well as the root of their own unhappiness, will also inevitably be blamed on you. It is easier to blame problems on someone else, making you the target for your ex-spouse.
Defying Court Orders
The most manipulative thing an ex-spouse can do is defy court orders out of spite. Some exes even do this knowing they will be hauled into court, but the fact that they orchestrated the whole scenario is yet another form of control over you and a way to continue contact with you. As awful as it sounds, it can happen and for that reason, it is crucial to have a very detailed and precisely worded settlement agreement in hand when you sign your divorce papers. Be sure to consult with a knowledgeable divorce lawyer who has extensive experience with high-conflict divorces.
Somerset Divorce Lawyers at Lyons & Associates, P.C. Provide Experienced Counsel for Those in a High-Conflict Divorce
The experienced Somerset divorce lawyers at Lyons & Associates, P.C. can help if you are dealing with a high-conflict divorce. We understand the stress levels involved in these cases and are dedicated to helping our clients resolve their legal issues as quickly and reasonably as possible. Call 908-575-9777 today for a free and confidential consultation about your case or contact us online. Our offices are located in Somerville, New Jersey, and we represent clients throughout the state.
