TEN THINGS YOU SHOULD DO BEFORE FILING FOR
DIVORCE WITHOUT A LAWYER
Johnson-Stovall and Associates PLLC
602 462 1004
Ending a marriage is more than filing the paperwork, appearing in court and asking a judge to resolve issues that spouses cannot decide without the court’s help. Strong emotions including anger, grief, sadness, hostility often get in the way of decision making in every
Divorce. Because the emotional state of each spouse is often the main ingredient in deciding to end the relationship, the divorce process can be unpredictable, lengthy and costly. Family counseling before, during or even after the divorce process is often useful in deciding whether the parties can resolve the relationship without the aid of an attorney. Family counseling costs is often less expensive than hiring a lawyer on both sides of a case. A family counselor can be helpful in deciding issues including parenting time, re-payment of debt and distribution of assets. Before you hire a lawyer or file for divorce, the couple should discuss whether a family counselor can be retained by the couple to discuss the process of ending the relationship, creating a parenting plan, distributing assets and debts. Here are a few things to consider when retaining a counselor to help in resolving your marriage.
1. Select a counselor that neither spouse has used during the course of the marriage to keep the family together. Often if a couple uses the same counselor to end the marriage that they retained to keep the marriage together, the counselor will be viewed by one spouse or the other as biased. The perception of bias toward one spouse or the other will often be a deterrent to reaching an amicable resolution of the issues that need decisions in ending the relationship.
2. Provide the counselor with a clear expectation that the purpose of the retention is to help the couple decide what is in the best interest of the children in creating a parenting plan for two single households.
3. Provide the counselor with a clear expectation for helping the couple evaluate assets and liabilities and to create an agreement for equitable distributions for assets and liabilities.
4. Provide the counselor with a clear expectation that the purpose of the retention is not to discuss the emotional and behavioral issues that led the couple to reach a decision that divorce is necessary.
5. Provide the counselor with a goal to create clear plans within a defined period of time.
6. Prepare for the meetings with the counselor by assembling all of the documents necessary to make informed decisions including tax returns for the last three years, income statements/pay stubs, information regarding the costs of child care, schooling and extra-curricular activities for the children.
7. Remain focused during your meetings with the counselor and avoid discussing issues which led to the divorce, unless those issues affect the decisions regarding parenting plans
8. At the end of each session, summarize decisions which were made in writing and make a commitment to implement the decisions to test their viability before final decisions are reached.
9. Commit final decisions to a writing. Sign and notarize the agreement.
10. Make sure that the signed agreement has provisions for modification based upon changed circumstances. Define which circumstances will be considered in modifying the agreement.
