More and more men are seeking alimony and choosing to believe that there is no shame in accepting a monthly check from their ex-wives. The percentage of alimony recipients who are male rose to 3.6% during the five years ending in 2006. Up from 2.4% in the previous five-year period according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

The percentage of men seeking alimony will rise as the earning potential of women increase. In 2005, wives out earned their husbands in 33% of families where both husband and wife were employed, up from 28.2% a decade earlier.

Why Men Seek Alimony

1. Most men who seek alimony do so for the same reasons women have, they sacrificed their careers so their wives could build theirs. Believe it or not, there are men out there who put their wife’s career needs above their own. If, after years of support her career efforts she decides to divorce why shouldn’t he seek alimony?

2. Men seek alimony because they gave up their career pursuits to become stay at home parents. If there is a divorce, he deserves compensation for years of raising children, doing laundry and cooking dinner.

3. Men seek alimony as a way to negotiate a better divorce settlement agreement. They know that it is a powerful tool to be used with a wife who does not like the idea of writing a monthly check. She may be more willing to give up the second home on the coast or a larger portion of her retirement benefits if she knows it will mean cutting off all ties with her soon to be ex husband.

Men or women that are the primary breadwinners should be responsible for paying what the courts say is fair and it shouldn’t matter that the recipients are male or female. Many men don’t seek alimony because of the stigma attached to be “supported by a woman.” They don’t want to be “that guy” but to not protect themselves and take advantage of what state divorce laws allow they are being shortsighted.

If you are under-employed or your divorce leaves you struggling financially, the back burner may be where you need to leave your pride.


Maya Murphy P.C. has proudly been included in the 2024 Edition of Best Law Firms®, ranked among the top firms in the nation. In addition, Managing Partner Joseph C. Maya has been selected to The Best Lawyers in America® 2024 for his work in Employment Law and Education Law in Connecticut. Recognition in Best Lawyers® is awarded to firms and attorneys who demonstrate excellence in the industry, and is widely regarded by both clients and legal professionals as a significant honor.

Our firm in Westport, Connecticut serves clients with legal assistance all over the state, including the towns of: Ansonia, Beacon Falls, Bethany, Bethel, Branford, Bridgeport, Brookfield, Cheshire, Danbury, Darien, Derby, East Haven, Easton, Fairfield, Greenwich, Guilford, Hamden, Madison, Meriden, Middlebury, Milford, Monroe, Naugatuck, New Canaan, New Fairfield, New Haven, Newton, North Branford, North Haven, Norwalk, Orange, Oxford, Prospect, Redding, Ridgefield, Seymour, Shelton, Sherman, Southbury, Stamford, Stratford, Trumbull, Wallingford, Waterbury, West Haven, Weston, Westport, Wilton, and Woodbridge. In addition to assisting clients in Connecticut, our firm handles education law and employment law matters in New York as well. 

If you have any questions about employment law or education law in Connecticut, or would like to speak to an attorney about a legal matter, please contact Joseph C. Maya and the other experienced attorneys at Maya Murphy, P.C. at (203) 221-3100 or JMaya@Mayalaw.com to schedule a free initial consultation today.